My grandma past away yesterday. She was 90 years old in this October.
I regreted that it was not enough to talk with her for me. I'm sure that I needed to learn so many things from my grandma. About the way of life, being a wife, being a mother, etc, etc. When I realized that point, she was in critical condition.
I had a phone call telling me my grandma was in critical condition at 8:30 pm Thursday night. I was on my way home.
She had a kidny desease and had to get dialyzed several times per week, but she's getting better day by day. She could eat some food with her own hands just one week ago. But when I rush to the room of the hospital, her breath hard...even it stopped every ten minutes. She was in danger for five hours...and breathe her last calmly with her child and grandchild at 0:20 am yesterday before dawn .
In my memories, she always smiled. She didn't upset in any case. She praised me for something about me whenever I visited her. That really encouraged me. I think she noticed that I had no confidence in myself. I loved and respected my grandma.
I'm glad that I could introduce my fiance and his son this May. She looked that she accepted the situation. I'm sure that she was bewildered when I brought Dan and Jack to her house.
And after that, she might concern that I am inexperienced in housework and kitchen work. Japanese ladies used to learn those things as feminine knowledge. She was completely disgusted with my ignorance. Several times she said that I should dress smartly and be domestic woman after the example of my younger sister. I was so shocked because she also said that I was too busy taking photographs. "What have you been doing all this time?" she sighed.
Since then, I tried to do my best. When I visit my grandma in the hospital, I tried to dress more smartly than before. Sometimes, I told her what I learned in the cooking class which I was taking. But I always feel that I'm not enough.
Now I understand what she was worried. I'm sure I was exasperatingly useless for my grandma. She was really handy at everything. Cooking, sewing, dressing smartly, making preserved food...and she was an intellectual. I think those all things enlivened her life.
I will keep what she concerned in my mind . That's my homework from my grandma.